<– This is Sheelee, my former fiancee. We got engaged in January 2004. We were excited and happy.
Then things started to die … It was a long-distance relationship, and I was unemployed at the time, unemployable. I won’t go into all the reasons why things didn’t work out; frankly, I don’t want to think about them. I couldn’t decide what to do, and finally decided not to decide.
Now that I have a job, some of the more practical reasons for avoiding the issue have gone away. She’s a very attractive girl with a conspiratorial smile and an insane sense of humor. At one point I really believed that I understood relationships well enough to figure this out, and understood myself well enough to stop dodging the issues that held me back from committing to someone else. But I don’t, and I won’t. It’s a real defeat for me to say that. But it’s easier than dragging her along making her think there’s a possibility that something might change.